


camp

by lxvender



Category: Smosh, Smosh Games, Smosh Squad
Genre: Anorexia, Anxiety, Depression, Drug Use, Eating Disorders, F/F, F/M, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Summer Camp - AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2018-11-19
Packaged: 2019-05-22 00:02:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14925536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lxvender/pseuds/lxvender
Summary: A camp for wayward kids was not where Shayne Topp wanted to spend his summer.The word made him sound insane, which he was not. He just dealt with some anxiety sometimes...But of course, parents always know what's best, right? And if shipping him out to some off-the-grid camp in the-middle-of-nowhere-Idaho was his parent's solution, then he would be leaving for Idaho in a few short months.A camp full of kids just like him, however, was not where Shayne Topp expected to spend his summer.From the shy but thoughtful Olivia to the ever boisterous and innocent Wes,  Shayne knew these "wayward" kids would soon become some of his closest friends...and maybe more.For one of these kids caught his attention, and he was not planning on giving it up.





	1. Travel and Check-In

[ SHAYNE ]

===

When my parents had informed me of a long summer road trip across the West, I was ecstatic. A break away from the stuffy small town we lived in, and a (hopeful) time for me to lose myself in the countryside an forget about everything, if even temporarily.

When my parents informed me of my final stop, however, I was no longer ecstatic.

The Raub & Bereta Wayward Home, or in my case, camp. A place for troubled teens to receive the care and attention they needed, in-the-middle-of-nowhere Idaho. A place where I would spend my summer talking to therapists about my issues and forced to interact with god-knows-who-else.

It wasn't that I didn't want help, as I was already talking with a therapist and taking medication, but I definitely did not want to spend the summer before my junior year focusing on it. I wanted to be on the road with my parents and siblings, stopping at cheesy tourist stops and taking pictures at the state signs.

So instead of packing for a long road trip, I packed for camp. Oh boy.

===

The drive had been beautiful, I'll give my parents that. And we had stopped at a handful of quirky road-side shops, so that had been fun.

But at some point, my dad had pulled off onto a side road and we bounced along a dirt road lined with endless trees. My hands clutched nervously at my long abandoned book. My stomach twisted, from the bumpy road or my anxiousness, I wouldn't know.

My mom hummed quietly to the song on the radio, ever so faint from my position in the back seat. I tapped my fingers to the muffled bassline I could make out, trying (and failing) to distract myself from the anxiety I could feel building. I wasn't nervous...so why did I feel nervous.

My dad made a left turn, and a river came into view, gurgling along lazily. I smiled at the sight, perhaps they'd let us go swimming? The trees began to lessen, and eventually, we pulled into a small clearing. A bright white sign shined in the midday sun: THE RAUB & BERETA WAYWARD HOME! My stomach twisted again, but I took in a deep breath and tried to ignore my anxious feelings.

The car pulled around a loop, and we found ourselves in front of a rather nice white house. There was a large front porch, with a gorgeous view of the river and the mountains beyond. Rocking chairs lined the porch as well, with a few kids sitting peacefully outside. The windows were covered with thin white curtains and flower boxes were screwed up from the outside. I could see a small boy sitting on a window sill upstairs, reading a rather large book.

A car door opening pulled me from my examination of the house. My head snapped to the trunk as I saw my dad unloading my bag. I stuffed my book and gummy worms into my backpack before climbing over my siblings' seats to get out of the car. As I stepped out, I could hear them fighting over who got the backseat. Typical, I thought with a laugh. My mom grabbed her purse and slung an arm over my shoulder.

"You ready?" she asked me with a smile.

I rolled my eyes. "Ready to be kept away for a whole summer, yeah."

"I know this isn't ideal for you, but your father and I believe this place is really gonna help you," she said, pausing to brush off her jeans. "Besides, I have a good feeling about you this summer."

"Are you predicting this 'good feeling' or just hoping?" I snorted, giving her a small smile.

She chuckled, ruffling my hair lightly. "I could see it in my crystal ball, Shayne."

I rolled my eyes again before walking to the back of the car to grab my bag from my dad. He shrugged another bag over his shoulder and followed my mom into the house. I took one more second to breathe and compose myself before jogging after them.

The house was colder inside, a contrast from the sunny summer heat outside. A theme of white and dark oak carried into the house. A large table was set up in the middle of the entryway, with two men sitting together amidst sheets of paper and a bucket of keys. My mom was at the table, talking with one of the men while my dad stood awkwardly behind her. I made my way to the table slowly, letting my eyes wander across the building.

"Ah, you must be Shayne!" I heard one of the men say, and my head snapped towards him.

"Yep, that would be me," I said, offering a curt smile.

"We're so excited to have you here this summer," he continued, handing my paperwork to the other man sitting with him. He shuffled through it, marking some things down on a clipboard next to him. "I'm Mr. Joe Bereta, and this is Mr. Matt Raub."

"Nice to meet you all," the other man, Mr. Raub, spoke, setting my papers into a clean manilla folder. He scrawled my name across the tab in impeccable cursive, before placing it into a stack on the floor.

"Alright, we've got all your information!" Joe beamed, before reaching into the bucket next to her. He fished out a small silver key with an equally small fish keychain. "These are the keys to your cabin, I believe your roommates are already settled in."

I gulped. Roommates. No more than four, though. Would I like them? Would they like me?

"--and this is a map of the campground. We encourage roommates to get to know each other and to get to know the camp better. Your parents can help you get settled in, if you'd like," Joe finished. I nodded and offered a quick thanks before turning to walk to my cabin with my parents.

It was tucked into the corner where the clearing ended and a few trees were spaced out. Dark oak with one large window on the side. A silver fish was nailed above the door, matching the mini one on the keychain Mr. Bereta had given me. I found my way to the small porch and tried the door, which was unlocked.

Two bunk beds sat against the side wall, away from the window, each holding a thin blue mattress. The walls were painted a pale yellow and in the window sat thin white curtains. Not so bad...

"Hey! Are you Shayne?" I heard a voice ask. I turned my head to the corner of the room, where two boys sat. One was thin, with dark skin and a large hat perched atop his head. The other was slightly larger, with a pair of glasses pushed up onto the top of his head.

"Uh, yeah...that's me," I said, setting my bag down and out of the entryway.

"I'm Damien," the larger boy said with a smile.

"And I'm Keith," the other smiled as well. I gave them a timid smile back.

"We've...kinda already claimed our beds, but there's two left still, so uh..." Keith faded off.

"Thanks," I chuckled, lugging my dropped bag over to the other bottom bunk. My dad followed me and helped me set up the bedding. I set my pillow down and turned to my parents.

"We'll see you in August, sport," my dad said. My mom nodded. My face turned red.

"Yeah, okay. Just go before I get all sad," I said, laughing slightly. I gave them both hugs before they turned and left the cabin. I could see them walking back to the car from the window. They got in the car and drove off.

"So, uh...what's up?" I heard Damien ask.

"Not much, dude," I replied lamely. I had never been to a camp like this before...where everyone was messed up but no one wanted to talk about it. "Mr. Bereta told me to get us all out and exploring, but, like, if you don't want to do that I totally get it--"

"I'd say yes, but we have to wait for our other roommate," Keith answered.

"Yeah, whenever they get here I'm down," Damien chimed in. I nodded and took a seat on my bed.

"Uh-uh, get your butt over here," Keith said with a smile. He pulled a beanbag over to the corner. "If we're going to be living together for three months, we have to be able to talk without it being awkward."

I smiled. "Oh, yeah. Sure." I took a seat on the open beanbag and Keith started to introduce himself, Damien following.

And so we sat in the corner, swapping stories and jokes, instantly clicking as friends.

The door opened again, "Hello?"


	2. Noah and Adventures

[ SHAYNE ]

===

A lanky boy stood in the doorframe of the cabin.

The three of us looked up at him with bright faces, Keith even offering him a small wave.

"Yo, I'm Keith," he introduced himself. The boy nodded, setting his duffel bag down and stepping into the cabin. He wore a pair of tight jeans and a light grey t-shirt, and despite his clean appearance he looked very disheveled. He was noticeably thin, and dark bags were evident below his eyes. He looked like he belonged here...What's his story?

"I'm Damien," Damien said.

"And I'm Shayne," I said, using my foot to drag another beanbag over to the corner.

"I'm Noah," he said, shuffling towards the only empty bed.

"Come sit with us," Damien chuckled as his behavior.

"Oh, uh, okay," Noah stumbled over his words before hesitantly moving to sit with us. He plopped himself down onto the beanbag and immediately began fiddling with his hands.

"So...should we all introduce ourselves?" Keith asked.

"We kinda already did," Damien pointed out.

"Oh, I guess we did," Keith said. Damien and I chuckled.

"Aren't we supposed to go exploring and bond with one another?" I asked. Keith smiled at this.

"Oh yeah! And I know just where to take all of you," he smiled, standing from his beanbag.

===

After we slipped our shoes on, and Noah had thrown on a jacket, Keith marched us all out of the cabin. He led us away from the cluster of cabins and down a path that followed the river. We were silent aside from the crunch of our feet and the gentle murmur of the river. It was rather peaceful, and I knew I would adapt rather quickly.

Keith paused for a second, before turning and jumping onto a log that crossed the river. He dashed across, giggling as Damien's eyes widened.

"Keith, I'm gonna fucking break the log," he said. Keith just laughed again.

"We weigh the same, idiot, you'll be fine," he said, propping himself against a tree while he waited for the rest of us to cross.

Damien let out a sigh before cautiously stepping onto the log. He wobbled his way across before touching down on the other side, a grin on his face while Keith slow-clapped for him. 

I turned to grin at Noah but stopped when I noticed he wasn't even looking at the log. He was picking at his fingers nervously and staring at his feet.

"Hey, dude, you okay?" I asked him, snapping him out of his trance. He offered me a sheepish smile and took a step back.

"Uh, I'm just not, um, a big fan of stuff like this...ya know?" He scratched the back of his neck.

"Oh, yeah. That makes sense," I said. I turned to see Keith and Damien waiting for us, their conversation dying down and now watching us.

"Do you want me to cross with you?" I asked.

"Oh, no, you don't have to, I can, uh, just wait here for you guys."

"Dude, no!" I laughed. "This is supposed to be a bonding trip for us all, you have to come."

"Okay, um," he paused, his hands finding his pockets. I shook my head with a smile and walked over to him, grabbing his hands from his pockets and walking backward with him. His grip tightened as my feet found their way onto the log. I pulled him up onto the log and started walking again, his hands never leaving mine.

"See? Not so bad," I said softly, trying to keep him from freaking out on me.

He nodded, keeping his eyes on the log below him. His chest rose and fell quickly, but he showed no other signs of panicking, something I could easily spot. I pulled him off the log and we both turned to face Keith and Damien, hands dropping to our sides.

"Okay, moving right along, follow me," Keith stated, turning once more to lead us.

And we followed. The sky turned from its bright blue to a slightly pinker shade, mixing with the blue clouds. The river opened up to a bigger lake with a gorgeous view of the nearby mountains.

"Should we be heading back?" I whispered to Damien.

"Nah, the counselors don't usually round us up until nightfall. We're usually good until about eight," he explained, checking the time on his watch. We had about an hour.

Keith had sat himself down on a little tree stump close to the water. Damien and I made our way towards him, while Noah waited behind. He found a rock to sit on and took the opportunity to sit. I started taking my shoes off, wading into the shallow part of the lake. I sent a small splash in Damien and Keith's direction, hoping to get them to wade with me. 

After a small outburst from Keith, I heard him making his way in, Damien just behind him. We ran around the shallow lake, splashing each other and laughing along the way. Noah watched from his vantage point above us, with a smile ghosting his face every so often. I sent him a wave, which he sent back.

We spent our hour having fun and messing around before Keith rushed us all back to the main house for the "First-Night Roundup". I helped Noah back over the log and we ran behind Keith and Damien with smiles on our faces.

Maybe the summer wouldn't be so bad.

===

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! i have up to chapter 4 pre-written, so i will probably post up to there because...i'm at a film camp for the summer! i checked in yesterday morning, but it's a 5-week camp that is basically a little taste of college--meaning i have actual classes until 17:30 and then the camp hosts little activities. if i can't get to uploading anything i hope you guys understand :) i'll try my best to write while i'm here though!
> 
> (if you want to see the pictures/visuals/playlist i curated for this story, check out my wattpad: @lxvenderr)


	3. Previews and Introductions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shayne meets the rest of the gang!

[ SHAYNE ]

The four of us made it to the main cabin just in time. We slipped in through the back door right as Joe shuffled the last of the campers into the living room. The house buzzed with the energy and chatter of all the campers, and the compactedness made me anxious. I stuffed my shaky hands into my pockets and hoped for this meeting to be quick.

A stout man I recognized as Mr. Raub stood on the stairs, rising above the campers and lowering his hands to quiet the noise. Once the murmuring stopped, he spoke.

"Good evening, campers!" His voice was loud and carried through the room. "My name is Matt Raub, but you will be calling Mr. Raub, please."

He continued to talk about what was going to happen this summer: when we'd have our evaluations, what times meals were at, what curfew was...normal camp rules and schedules. The room grew bored, as some kids started whispering to one another, a dull noise behind Mr. Raub's crisp and clear voice. Mr. Bereta stepped up to say one final thing before we were dismissed to the dining hall for dinner.

Noah and I trailed behind Keith and Damien, who seemed to know their way around the campground. The setting sun filtered its orange light through the tall trees as we made our way down the hill. We came across a cabin with screens for walls and deck facing the river.

Kids had already found their way inside, chatting amongst themselves as they scooped food onto their plates from a self-serve station. We joined the line and filled our plates with mashed potatoes, chicken, and green beans. Wow, so stereotypically American. 

Keith had already made his way to a table, where three girls sat. I grabbed a lemonade and made my way over. I was still a bit overwhelmed from the meeting with Mr. Raub and Mr. Bereta, so I wasn't keen on meeting more new people, but the girls seemed calm so I tried my best to swallow my nerves. I placed my plate on the table and all eyes turned to me. My hands got clammy and I clenched them tightly under the table.

"Ah, this is my roommate, Shayne," Keith introduced me to the three girls. I gave them a forced smile and a little nod. 

"This is Mari, Olivia, and Miss Miller," he continued.

"Jesus, Keith," the last girl laughed before turning to me, "my name's Courtney."

"Nice to meet you guys," I said.

Damien and Noah plopped themselves down.

"And these are my other roommates, you know Damien, and a newcomer, Noah," Keith said before stuffing potatoes in his mouth.

Noah simply nodded, picking at his food. Everyone chuckled.

"So Noah," Mari began, taking a sip of her water, "where are you from?"

Noah placed his fork down and started playing with his hands. "California."

The group fell into a silence as forks scraped plates and the quiet murmur of the dining hall took over. I could sense Noah's nervousness, and I nudged him with my foot. When he looked up, I sent him a little smile. He returned it, although it was forced, I could tell having someone to ground himself to was helping slightly. My leg bounced up and down anxiously but thinking back to that smile, I could ground myself as well. Dinner continued on rather uneventfully, and soon we were headed down to the bonfire.

I followed my roommates and their friends down a small hill to a rather large stone pit, where Mr. Raub was tending to a growing fire. Large log benches surrounded the fire pit up close, and a small amphitheater rose up behind the benches, offering some distance from the large flames. Keith led our group up to a row in the amphitheater and followed the row to the very end, where our group could sit away from the cluster of other campers.

"There's a few more people joining us, just so you guys are aware," Keith said, plopping himself down on the concrete bench.

"A few as in like two or three, or..?" I asked, not wanting to be overwhelmed in front of my new friends.

"Like six more people? Is Anthony here this summer?" Keith turned to Mari.

"No, he's going to a different camp, unfortunately," she answered, picking at a loose string on her ripped jeans.

I gulped. I didn't know if I could handle six more people, the group of six we already had was a lot to take in already. I tapped my foot to try and shake out some nervous energy. Noah quickly made his way over to me and took a seat. His hands sat in his lap, mirroring mine. He tapped my foot with his quickly, then looked away. I smiled, repeating the action. He smiled as well. We sat in a comfortable silence as a group of people made their way towards us. There were six of them, as Keith had stated, and they sat themselves down around all of us.

"Hey y'all," Keith smiled. "We have some newcomers so you're all gonna have to introduce yourselves. This is Shayne," Keither pointed at me, "and Noah." We both offered small waves to the new group of people.

"I'm Matt, but these guys usually call me Sohinki," a short brunette introduced himself.

"I'm David," a boy with fiery orange hair spoke.

"I go by Joven," an older looking boy said, fidgeting with his glasses.

"I'm Wes!" A larger built boy with silvery hair.

"I'm Boze." A short girl with dark skin and a big smile.

"And I'm Ian," a boy said, offering a small smile. 

"And I think that's everyone!" Keith said, laying himself back on the bench. the group quickly entered a conversation, small groups popping up around Noah and me. The girls seemed to mesh together with Keith, swapping stories from school. Damien and Wes were chatting about a video game that had recently been released. Matt, David, Joven, and Ian had also grouped up. They seemed to know each other the longest, the way their conversation flowed and how they just seemed to have the most chemistry.

I didn't move from my seated position with Noah. I didn't know about him, but the introductions had already drawn out so much energy from me, I didn't think I'd make it through a conversation with them. But I liked the energy these new people gave off. I figured if I gave myself enough adjustment time, I could really make some new friends here.

Noah leaned his head on my shoulder. I tensed slightly but soon relaxed into the contact. We watched as the rest of the group moved about each other, talking and laughing and just enjoying each others presence. 

It felt nice. I hoped it wouldn't change.


	4. Cabins and Evaluations

[ SHAYNE ]

===

As the bonfire began to die down, so did the energy of the campers present.

Many kids began the walk back to their cabins, the lights going out soon after their returns. I watched as the amphitheater began to clear out, and as the benches around the fire became empty. Our group had remained, but I could see their energy start to die down as well. Eventually, we all said our goodbyes and made our way back to our respected cabins.

I spotted the bathrooms on the way to our cabin and made a mental note on its location. Once we made it inside, I grabbed my toothbrush and made my way back to the bathrooms. A number of boys lingered about, hushed conversations catching their interest, but I made my way in and out quickly.

I could hear faint music coming from Keith's bed as I re-entered the cabin. I slipped into some sweatpants as Damien slid off his bed, Keith soon following. They propped themselves up on the beanbags and turned to face me.

"So, we both got to talk to you," Keith started, pointing towards me and shifting on his seat slightly, "however, we did not get to talk to Noah all that much."

I turned to Noah's bunk, seeing his head pop up from his lying position. He sat up before speaking. "I mean, there's not all that much to talk about."

"Nonsense," Damien said sweetly.

"Yeah, Shayne just told us about his dog back home. Boom, we learned that he has a dog." Keith continued.

"C'mon, come join us," Damien chuckled. I plopped myself down onto one of the beanbags. Noah was fiddling with his fingers, but he eventually placed his hands by his sides and made his way off the top bunk. He found his way to the last beanbag and sat himself down.

"How about we all go around and say one interesting thing about ourselves?" Keith suggested.

Damien snorted. "Using last years group icebreaker, are we?"

"Man, shut up," Keith said with a laugh. "I'll start. I absolutely love art, and it's what I wanna major in in college."

"I have two cats, but I strictly refer to them as geese," Damien followed. I tried to stifle a laugh, but the four of us erupted in laughter.

"But why?" I asked.

"Don't know," Damien replied.

"Okay, uh...I used to really want to be an actor," I said.

"Used to?" Damien questioned.

"I mean, I'd still love to, but I have really bad anxiety if it wasn't evident."

"Ah."

"Alright, Noah, you've got the spotlight," Keith spoke up.

"Um, my brother's and I all have the same birthday," he answered. The rest of the cabin gasped.

"No way," Keith said.

"Yeah, February fourteenth, just different years," Noah said with a little smile.

"Dude, that's insane," I said chuckling.

"No, that's impeccable timing," Damien joked, causing another round of laughter to erupt.

We sat there for a while more, sharing yet another fact about ourselves and easing any previous tensions in the group. I felt a lot more comfortable around the group, and I was hoping within the week, I would feel the same about the larger group.

Time escaped us, and before we knew it Keith was warning us about getting some sleep before evaluations in the morning. Damien turned out the lights and we all crawled into bed.

===

The sound of an alarm pulled me out of a dreamless sleep. I turned over to see Damien tapping on his phone, while Keith slept soundly. His phone sat on the small table next to his bunk, and its screen was bright. I realized his phone was the one playing the alarm. Damien looked down from his top bunk, before climbing down.

"Should we..?" I started to ask before he shook Keith awake.

"You sure do love sleeping through alarms don't you?" He joked. Keith waved his hand, trying to shoo Damien away, before turning over and pulling his blanket back over his head.

I shook my head at his actions, but a small smile made its way onto my face. "Was he like this last year?"

"Oh yeah," Damien said with a smile. "I usually wake him up when I'm done getting ready and then he's fine. Most of the time."

The two of us began to get ready, throwing on some clothes for the day and throwing our blankets back into place. I was never one to make my bed in the morning but I didn't want to seem messy in front of my roommates. I noticed that Noah had already left. Had I seen him at all this morning?

"Alright, Keith, we're gonna head down to the dining hall for breakfast," Damien said as he shook Keith awake again. Keith mumbled something before sitting up and getting out of bed. Damien and I sat on the cabin's small porch and listened to the sounds of the camp, and Keith as he got ready. Before we knew it, Keith was making his way out of the cabin and we were on our way to the dining hall.

"Did either of you see Noah earlier?" I asked, looking around to see if he had just left before us.

"I heard him moving around a little earlier. I think he just went to eat before us," came Damien's reply. I nodded and the three of us made our way inside.

===

I had evaluations with Mr. Bereta, which was nice since he was the first face I met upon arriving at camp. Our meeting was set for nine-thirty, so after I finished up my breakfast I made my way inside the white cottage and to the office hallway. Both Mr. Bereta and Mr. Raub had an office in the house, so they could both see campers throughout the summer. There were a handful of chairs in the hallway of both men's offices, so I took a seat.

After a few minutes, I heard a door click open, and I looked up to see Mr. Bereta's head pop out of his office. "Shayne?"

I stood up and made my way over to his office. He offered me a smile as he shut the door behind us and we both took a seat. He grabbed a notepad off his desk, which was littered in binders and papers, and turned his chair to face me.

"So, you're probably wondering what we do during evaluations?" he asked me after he finished turning towards me. I nodded.

"Essentially, we're just seeing where your mental state stands through basic questions and by looking at the papers we asked all campers to bring from their therapists. From there, we assess how serious the condition, or conditions, is, and often you should be talking to someone." He shifted in his seat slightly and grabbed a pen from behind his ear. "Then, we set up a basic schedule with times for individual and group activities, and individual and group therapy sessions.

"It sounds like a lot, I know, but it's a pretty simple process," Mr. Bereta finished explaining. He quickly scribbled something down on the notepad.

"Ready?" he asked.

"Yeah."


	5. Hangouts and Schedules

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey friends! i hate to interrupt this chapter -- but i have some quick news to get out! school starts tomorrow for me (august 10) it's my senior year so i'm pretty excited!! but, in preparation for school (summer assignments, yuck) i fell a bit behind on this book. i had originally been writing chapters ahead of posting so i had plenty to post, but now i'm not sure. oncei get back into the groove of school, chapters might be more frequent, but i'm not sure, so sorry if updates are slow and sparse :)) <3

[ SHAYNE ]

===

My meeting with Mr. Bereta went smoother than I had anticipated.

He was very patient with me and understood when I had to take my time to answer questions. He was very diligent about taking notes, so there was never a lull in the conversation, which felt nice so I knew I was never causing an awkward silence. I knew I was going to become comfortable confiding in him.

As our session came to an end, he quickly finished writing his notes and set the legal pad down on his cluttered desk. He turned to face me.

"Alright, Shayne, that's it for today. We'll try to get your schedules out by dinner so you are aware of what your days will look like. I'll be your individual therapist, and Mr. Bereta will lead group sessions, okay?" he explained.

"Yeah, sounds good," I said, wiping my hands on my jeans and getting up from my seat.

"Awesome, I'll see you around," he said, and quietly shut the door after I exited.

I made my way back outside. The yard had a few kids here and there, but it wasn't overly crowded. Some sat in the shade under the trees while others dipped their feet in the lazy river. I didn't spot Keith or Damien, and since I hadn't seen Noah all day I figured he wasn't out here either, so I made my way back to the cabin.

The lights were off, as Damien had left them when we had gone to breakfast, so I assumed that no one had been back into the cabin. But as I entered, I spotted a small lump on Noah's bed. I cautiously made my way over and pulled myself up to see what the lump was.

Upon spotting faded hair and a thin face, I quickly realized it was just Noah's getting some sleep. I let myself climb down and grabbed my book from my bag. I made myself cozy in one of the beanbags and pick up where I had left off in the car.

Keith and Damien made their way inside after half an hour of peaceful reading. Their noise was quite overpowering compared to the dead silence I had been sitting in, and I almost immediately shushed them, pointing a finger towards Noah's bed. They nodded and grabbed some things from their bags.

"We're heading down to the lake with the group if you wanna come with us?" Damien, said, ending his statement with a questioning tone.

"Like, the whole group?" I asked in response.

"Well, yeah. But we can tell people to try and not overwhelm you if that would help," Keith offered softly. I smiled at the gesture.

"Uh, yeah...that sounds great," I said. The two of them grinned.

"Awesome! You remember how to get there right? We'll let you change or whatever in peace," Damien said.

"Yeah, I'll see you guys there," I said. The two left the cabin, leaving me in silence once again. I smiled to myself and turned to get my trunks out of my bag, not even knowing if I'd get in the water this time.

"Where are you going?" I heard a voice from above me. I tensed but told myself to relax when I realized it was only Noah.

"The group is, uh, heading down to the lake," I told him. "You're welcome to come with if you're awake enough."

"Oh, I'm...um, maybe?" he stuttered back.

"It's okay if you don't, everyone adjusts at their own rate," I said, sliding a pair of sandals on.

"I mean, I might go down there."

"Don't feel like you have to, okay? I think Keith said we'll be down there until dinner."

"At six?"

"Yeah. If we see you down there, then we see you."

"Okay."

I gave him a warm smile before turning out the door and making my way to the lake.

===

We didn't end up seeing Noah at the lake, but he did join us for dinner.

The twelve of us all sat around a large picnic table, chatting softly amongst ourselves and recounting the great chicken fight some of us had had at the lake. The stories brought a smile to Noah's face, and the group delved into laughter.

It was warm where we sat in the sun, and it helped those of us who had been chilled by the lake water we had previously swum in. The room around us buzzed with the noise of other campers, but we could drown it own in our own little bubble.

At the lake, the group had easily let me slide into conversations when I felt like it, which made it much easier to talk to the large group without feeling too overwhelmed. I could feel myself getting more comfortable with everyone, but not quite ready to be thrust into the chaos Keith always told me about.

About halfway through dinner, Mr. Bereta approached our table with a stack of papers in his hands.

"Hey kiddos, I have your schedules!" he said. We all gave him a smile and reached for our schedules as he called our names. I titled my head down and read what it said.

CAMPER: SHAYNE TOPP (M)

DIAGNOSIS: GENERALIZED ANXIETY DISORDER (G.A.D.), MILD SOCIAL ANXIETY DISORDER (S.A.D.)

SCHEDULE: Individual Sessions - Mr. Bereta- 9:30  
Group Sessions - Mr. Raub -12:00

SUGGESTIONS: Find a close friend or two you trust to help you when you are feeling anxious and cannot reach Mr. Bereta or Mr. Raub. Try new activities, at your own pace, to see if one helps you when you are feeling stressed or anxious. Don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it, this is a safe environment!

I looked up to see everyone else looking at their schedules, some with smiles on their face, others groaning about having individual sessions early in the morning. I folded my schedule into a neat square and tucked it into my pocket. I turned back to my dinner as the group buzzed about their new schedules and compared them to last year's.

It was only my first year, and second day, but I was already looking forward to the rest of camp.


	6. Adjustment and Friends

[ SHAYNE ]

Despite his short stay so far, Shayne had started to adjust more than he thought he would.

He still got anxious around his new friends, since he was unfamiliar with them, and he still got overwhelmed in big social settings, but he was able to get close to his roommates. He considered that a positive approach to creating outlets and networks, as Mr. Bereta had called them.

His individual sessions had been going really well. Shayne wasn't trying to waste his time and bullshit the sessions. He wanted to make something of his stay here, and so he genuinely talked to Mr. Bereta.

Group sessions were much different, however. 

Shayne heard so many stories in those sessions, some that altered his view of his new friends, and made him want to know all of them so much more. He learned about Mari's struggle with food but wanted to know more about her ballet experience. He learned about Matt's struggle with disassociation but wanted to hear more about his attempted gaming channel. Everyone had shared small pieces of themselves that left Shayne craving for more about their lives.

Except for one of them. One of them remained silent, muttering only his name and diagnosis. But he didn't share many stories, nor did he seem to want to get better.

Only by chance did Shayne happen to have a tiny little crush on. But that's beside the point.

The group always walked to lunch after their mid-morning session, and lunch was almost always followed by a group adventure — even if it was just the group going to someone's cabin and napping (and it was usually Shayne's.)

Today was no different. A session at ten in the morning, followed by a slightly early lunch, and afterward, the twelve of them made their way to Ian's cabin. They joked along the way, sharing laughs and giggles and smiles and everything in between. Shayne hung back with the other silent boy, occasionally cracking a smile at one of his new friends' jokes.

"You okay?" Shayne asked quietly when the ground had a lull of silence. The lanky boy looked up at Shayne. His eyes were stamped with purple bags and his cheeks seemed to be more hollow than usual. But the boy smiled.

"Yeah, just tired," he said and looked back to his feet.

"Dude, I'm gonna nap so hard," Shayne chuckled, sneaking another glance at the boy.

"I'm gonna nap harder than you," he giggled. Giggled.

"Nope, that's impossible."

"Just you wait."

"Shayne, Noah, you guys coming?" Ian called out.

Shayne looked up. The group had already made their way into the cabin, and Ian held the door open on the porch. Shayne and Noah had walked past the cabin during their conversation. The two of them blushed, though neither saw the tint of red, before turning and jogging back to the cabin.

"Sorry about that, we kinda spaced," Shayne said.

Ian shook his head with a smile. "No problem, dude."

Shayne and Noah found their inside as the others made themselves comfortable, in beds, on the floor, and even on each other. Courtney had Olivia lying on top of her chest with a blanket thrown over them. The other boys found their way to an available bed until they were all occupied.

"Uh, so I guess—"

"Scoot over," Noah said before crawling in next to Shayne. Shayne tried to push his way back, but the twin-sized bed wasn't helping him in his attempt.

"Um, well we—"

"Shut up," Noah mumbled, grabbing one of Shayne's arms around his thin torso and curling into him. Suddenly, the bed seemed to fit the two of them. Shayne pulled the blanket around their bodies and snuggled in the best he could. He was suddenly very warm and very aware of his arm around the lanky boy, but after closing his eyes, he realized how nice it felt to be this warm.

"Your heart is racing," Noah whispered.

"Uh, I mean, yeah," Shayne said, opening his eyes again.

Noah turned to face him. "Why?"

Shayne looked everywhere but Noah. "Um...it's, it's not important."

"BS," Noah smiled. "Tell me."

 

"Just go to sleep," Shayne shook his head. He hoped the boy couldn't feel how sweaty he felt.

"Ugh, you have to tell me later," Noah said and closed his eyes. Shayne took a deep breath and closed his eyes again. He hoped the other boy would forget this conversation. He had no idea what was going to happen tomorrow.

So, the two cuddled up to one another and fell asleep.


End file.
